First Date Nerves: 6 Ways to Tackle Them

SilverSingles is the number-one dating site and app for seniors and middle-aged adults over 55. As a dating site designed for mature adults, we recognize the unique dating challenges that this growing age demographic faces. 

Do you suffer from first-date nerves? If so, you’re not alone. We all do

Feeling nervous before a big date is normal, particularly if you’re a little older, new to dating apps, and you haven’t been on a date in a while.

However, there are multiple things you can do to combat your first-date anxiety and even use these nerves to your advantage.

Here’s our advice on how you can say goodbye to your nerves and put your best foot forward instead.

6 Ways to Tackle First-Date Nerves

1. Be honest about how you’re feeling

Experiencing some degree of first-date nerves is pretty common. If you’re feeling a little on edge before date number one, chances are your crush is too. So why not cut the tension from the get-go and open up with them about it? 

Although it may be frightening to share your emotions with someone new, being honest with them could put your nerves at ease. 

You don’t have to go overboard, simply say that you’re looking forward to the date but are feeling a little nervous. By addressing what’s going on in your head, you can start your date off feeling refreshed, honest, and a little lighter.

Who knows, maybe they’ll find your vulnerability charming.

2. Don’t open up too much

While admitting that you’re feeling a bit nervous can be a good move, divulging all your secrets on date number one isn’t.

We advise against oversharing on the first date. Steer clear of topics such as your messy divorce or anything too heavy. 

Instead, keep the conversation light and friendly. You can even keep some conversation starters in your back pocket in case you draw a blank.

3. Find ways to relax before your date

While experiencing some first-date butterflies is normal, it can also feel overwhelming and stressful. 

To help you to relax and feel comfortable, we recommend practicing some simple relaxation techniques before your rendezvous.

Why not try your hand at calming activities such as journaling, meditation, or even some light exercise before your date? 

Preparing a packed pre-date routine filled with activities like these can truly help you to feel at ease and bring you some perspective. 

4. Plan the date together

While tapping out of organizing the date may feel like a good idea, sometimes it can be a bad decision. 

What if you hand over the organizational reins to your crush only for them to plan a night doing something you hate? This could worsen your first-date jitters. 

From cheap date ideas to romantic date ideas, we advise organizing the activity together so you both have a say in what you’d like to do. This means you know what to expect and can mentally prepare for the evening. 

5. Get excited

Most people think that the best thing to do for their anxiety is to try to calm down. However, studies have found that a better approach is actually to “reappraise” anxiety as excitement. 

Even if you feel anxious before a first date, actively tell yourself that you’re excited instead. Repeating mantras like this aloud can help you internalize them and feel like for real.

6. Don’t expect perfection

First-date nerves often stem from a desire to have a date go perfectly. However, the reality is that there’s no such thing as a perfect date, and there’s nothing that you can do to change that, so avoid putting pressure on yourself!

Once you let go of perfection, you’ll have more space to enjoy yourself and concentrate on getting to know your date. 

If you’re reading this because you’re suffering from a bad case of first-date nerves, take a deep breath and relax. Remember, beautiful relationships start with imperfect people and imperfect dates. 

Avoid putting too much pressure on yourself. No matter how this date goes, life will go on.

Everyone feels a little on edge before a big date, so don’t feel embarrassed if you’re experiencing some jitters. Instead, take a look over this helpful guide.