How to Ask Someone Out: 6 Fundamental Tips
By Shani Jay Figuring out how to ask someone out can be stressful, so we’ve compiled some of our top advice to help you pop the question the right way.
If you’ve ever asked someone out on a first date, you’ll probably be all too familiar with the kind of stress we’re talking about; butterflies, racing thoughts, sweaty pals, the works!
However, while asking someone out may feel like a big deal, it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, asking someone out on a date doesn’t have to feel overwhelming at all.
Asking someone out can actually be a totally natural and, dare I say it, an enjoyable experience. Here’s our advice on how to ask someone out.
Our Advice on How to Ask Someone Out
1. Ditch the small talk
Pretty much everyone loathes small talk, yet we seem to cling to it for dear life when we meet someone new.
Why do we do this? Because we’ve been doing it our whole lives! It feels safe and comfortable. We don’t have to share anything too deep, and neither do we’ve to listen to anyone pour their heart out to us.
However, small talk isn’t memorable, nor is it a good move when you’re figuring out how to ask someone out.
Being vulnerable with someone may feel daunting, however, it’s key if you want to establish a committed relationship.
So next time you’re talking to someone you like and want to ask them out, be authentic and share something from your heart.
Open up, say what you’re thinking, and don’t be afraid to let your guard down. Avoid questions that can be answered with a yes or no and instead, focus on open-ended questions.
2. Find something you have in common
The first step is to find some common ground with this person. That means you need to have a few conversations with them and begin to build a connection.
Maybe you’ve both traveled to a place and loved it, maybe you like the same music or share certain hobbies, or maybe you grew up in nearby towns or cities.
It can be as small as you like. The important thing here is to create a segue to then ask this person out, maybe suggest you meet up to discuss your shared passion or experience further!
This way it won’t feel like it’s coming totally out of the blue.
3. Figure out if they’re interested
If you can figure out if this person is interested in you, you’ll save yourself unnecessary heartache and nerves, and instead, feel confident when you ask them out.
When it comes to figuring out how to ask someone out, confidence is key. So we advise doing a little bit of groundwork on whether this person likes you too before you pop the question so that you can have buckets of it.
The best way to do this is to gradually build your connection with someone. Have a few casual conversations. Exchange some messages or phone calls. Laugh together over something. Make sure they’re single and looking to date.
Get them comfortable with the idea of dating you before you go ahead and ask them out.
4. Use their personal interests to inspire your date
Understanding what your crush is interested in will also help you ask them out on a fun date they’re likely to say yes to.
For example, if they love reading then maybe a local book signing would be right up their street. If they love being in nature, then a hike or a walk on the beach could be tough to resist.
Use what you find out about them to determine the kind of date you ask them out on. Making an effort like this will show them that you genuinely like them and up your chances of them saying yes.
5. Invite them on a group date
Group dates can be fantastic, particularly if you don’t know your crush very well or feel extra nervous about spending time with them.
So, if you want to keep things really casual, why not ask this person on a group date with a bunch of both of your friends?
Being surrounded by people you both know will help you both feel more comfortable and at ease, so why not give it a go?
6. Ask them to join you
Another great way to ask someone out is to tell them about something you’re doing and invite them to join you if they seem interested of course.
For example, if you already have plans to head to the movies, go to a museum, or some kind of event, just invite them along. This way, you’re letting them know you want to spend more time with them, but it also takes the pressure off because you’re going either way.
If they can’t make it you won’t feel rejected because you’re going with your friends anyway. It’s a win-win situation!
If you’re interested in getting to know someone on a deeper level, the best advice I can give you is to simply go for it! Life is too short to wonder what if?
Put yourself out there, and see what happens. If you get rejected, don’t worry. It happens to us all.2.
