Dating Buddy: The Secrets of Senior Dating
By The Editorial Team In the cartoon above, the older man seeks dating advice from a much younger consultant, perhaps even someone who is his granddaughter’s age. It might seem unconventional, but she’s what we affectionately call a “dating buddy.” In this blog post, we’ll explore why having a dating buddy is not only enjoyable but also beneficial for you. Let’s begin by examining why having a dating buddy is essential and then move on to who might be the ideal fit for this role.
Why a “Dating Buddy?”
We always advise those venturing into dating never to navigate it alone. It can feel daunting to delve into the depths of your own thoughts and desires without a companion by your side. Seeking companionship can be a solitary and disheartening journey if undertaken solo, or it can transform into an enjoyable shared experience. Remember the excitement of dating back in high school or college? You likely had friends who shared in the thrill of romantic pursuits, fueled by raging hormones and a collective eagerness for connection. As a senior dater, you’ll find that having a supportive network becomes even more crucial, requiring a more deliberate approach and strategic planning for assistance.
Gloria
Recently, I met with Mary, a 60-year-old woman experiencing exhaustion and stomach issues. Mary, a dedicated single mother who had successfully raised two daughters and was now caring for her “three delightful granddaughters,” found herself stretched thin. Until a couple of years ago, she juggled a full-time job alongside primary care responsibilities for her elderly father, who sadly passed away during the Covid pandemic. Now semi-retired, Mary found herself immersed in caregiving roles once again, this time for her adult daughter’s family. Despite her desire for companionship, Mary felt overwhelmed and lacked the time to invest in her own love life.
During our session, Mary and I discussed the importance of reclaiming “her time,” and I shared with her a copy of our new book, “Open to Love: The Secrets of Senior Dating.” Recognizing her past burnout from online dating attempts conducted in isolation, I suggested seeking support from a dating buddy this time around. Excited by the prospect, Mary agreed, and while I offered to assist her personally, she also expressed interest in finding a friend or colleague to share her dating adventures. I have every confidence that with the help of a dating buddy, Mary will successfully find her ideal partner – after all, I’ve been there myself!
Frank
My own journey with dating buddies stems from the aftermath of my divorce, a period of profound loss as I not only ended my marriage but also dissolved my professional partnership. My ex-wife was my business partner in a private psychology practice in Scottsdale, Arizona. As I grappled with the prospect of rebuilding my life post-divorce, the members of my men’s spiritual support group provided invaluable encouragement. Despite the devastation, they reassured me that love and companionship were still within reach, sharing their own success stories of finding love online through dating apps. They pledged to support me when I was ready to take that leap once again, offering guidance and camaraderie along the way.
It took over a year before I felt prepared to re-enter the dating scene, but their unwavering support during that time infused me with hope. Their belief that I deserved happiness and companionship, even after the pain of divorce, proved instrumental in my healing journey. Now, as a counselor, I draw upon this experience to advocate for the importance of seeking support, whether or not one is conscious of the need. I encourage others to embrace the concept of dating buddies, recognizing the profound impact that companionship and encouragement can have on the journey to finding love anew.
What is a Dating Buddy?
A dating buddy is:
- Someone to assist you in setting up your online dating profile and navigating through potential matches.
- Someone to share laughter or offer comfort after a disappointing date.
- Someone who stands by your side as you embark on the adventure of online dating.
Dating Buddy Profile:
When considering who might make the perfect dating buddy, it’s essential to weigh your options carefully:
- Adult Children: While they may initially seem like a natural choice, involving adult children in your dating life can present complications, including overprotectiveness and financial concerns. Moreover, they might struggle with loyalty issues related to the absent parent.
- Grandchildren or Young Adult Friends: Those with experience in online dating can be valuable resources, especially during the initial stages of creating profiles and navigating apps. While they may not commit to the long haul, they can offer crucial support during the early stages.
- Therapists or Relationship Coaches: These professionals can provide excellent guidance to kickstart your dating journey. However, for day-to-day support and immediate feedback on dating experiences, you’ll want someone more readily accessible.
- Friends: Single friends who have ventured into the realm of online dating themselves are ideal candidates. Consider forming a small dating group with two or more friends to provide mutual support and encouragement. Remember not to exceed eight members to maintain a manageable dynamic.
Seniors we work with often attest to the transformative power of having a dating buddy by their side. The prospect of going online and attending meetups can be daunting, but with a supportive companion by your side, it becomes not only manageable but also enjoyable. Having someone in your corner as you navigate the twists and turns of online dating can make all the difference in your quest for love.
More information and tips on dating and finding the next love of your life can be found in our book, Open to Love: The Secrets of Senior Dating, which is now available on Amazon. SilverSingles members can receive a 20% discount off of our book by entering the code 20OPENTOLOVE at checkout on Amazon.
Until next time,
Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Frank Powers