9 Ways to Cope with Loneliness After Divorce
By Shani Jay Experiencing loneliness after divorce is normal, but it isn’t easy.
It’s difficult to fathom just how devastating divorce can be until you’re experiencing it. So if this is happening to you right now, remember you’re not alone.
It’s ok to feel this way, in fact, it’s healthy to feel this way! The feelings you’re experiencing are all part of the process.
The great news is that you can do plenty of things to help yourself heal and move into this next chapter of your life. Here are some of our favorites.
9 Ways to Cope with Loneliness after Divorce
1. Accept your feelings
The first step you need to take is to practice acceptance. There are no right or wrong feelings, so allow yourself to feel them all.
This person you built a life with is now gone. Your life has dramatically changed. It’s normal to grieve this loss and feel isolated and disconnected from other people, as well as yourself.
You’re going through a period of great transition. Adjusting to this new normal takes time.
Sitting with these emotions may feel tricky in the moment, but in the long term, it’s a better game plan. It’ll reduce your chances of relationship anxiety or delayed feelings down the line.
2. Know that being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely
People often confuse being alone with loneliness. However, dealing with loneliness after divorce doesn’t automatically mean that you’re alone.
You can be in a relationship and still feel lonely. Equally, you can be single and feel content and at peace.
You’re alone now, yes, but that doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Chances are, you got divorced because you didn’t feel loved or respected, or your marriage wasn’t fulfilling you the way you needed.
This is a fresh start—a chance to begin again. Once you get used to the initial strangeness of going from “we” to “I,” you can rebuild your life in a beautiful way.
3. Be grateful for all you do have
One of the best things you can do to stop yourself from dwelling on the negatives is to remind yourself of the good.
Write a gratitude list and give thanks for all that’s great in your life. Do this every morning and you’ll begin to notice the joy in the little things.
What you focus on expands, so concentrate on things that make you feel happy and uplifted.
4. Be kind to yourself
Now is the time to be kind, loving, and patient with yourself. So make yourself the highest priority, and devote time to self-care every day.
That means doing whatever makes you feel good, brings you joy, and helps you find peace.
Read a book, take a bath, go for a walk, listen to your favorite music, do some yoga, take yourself out for lunch.
Do things just for you—you deserve it!
5. Lean on your loved ones
Our loved ones want to be there for us in times of need and when you’re coping with loneliness after divorce, it’s definitely a time of need.
Think about who you can count on and who you want by your side right now to help you through this.
Don’t be afraid to reach out and share how you’re feeling. This is what platonic friendships are for!
If anyone is making you feel guilty or stopping you from moving forward, distance yourself from them.
6. Take a vacation
If you ever needed a vacation, it’s now.
Removing yourself from your immediate environment will give you the space and time you need to shift your perspective.
Why not go on that solo trip you always wanted to take to Paris? Or if you don’t want to go on your own, join a singles holiday or go on a wellness retreat. The world is your oyster!
7. Join a support group for divorced people
There are plenty of online and in-person support groups for newly divorced people. Look into this and see what’s on offer near you.
Connecting with people who are going through something similar can help make you feel less isolated.
It can also be a great way to socialize and make new friends.
8. Start a new routine
Losing your relationship can create a significant shift in your day-to-day life. Chances are you were in a comfortable everyday routine with your partner, and now everything is up in the air.
Now is your shot to create a new, empowering routine. Think about what you want your day to look like and how you want to feel.
Then create a routine that reflects those emotions. Prioritize the people and activities that make you feel good.
Start exercising again, take care of your health, plan mealtimes, and set a sleep schedule for yourself.
9. Allow yourself to move on
The final step to coping with loneliness after divorce is permitting yourself to move on.
When you’ve taken the time to heal and figure out what you want, get yourself back out there. Meet new people. Have fun. Go on some dates. Flirt.
Just make sure to not rush into anything you’re not ready for. Take your time.
Enjoy the freedom and liberation of being single again. It might be more empowering than you ever imagined.
Managing loneliness after divorce may feel overwhelming, but getting through it is possible.
When you make it through this difficult chapter, a whole new life awaits you on the other side, a life that you’ve built yourself.
