Tying the Knot or Sharing a Home? Considerations After 60

If you’re over 60, you may have thought your time for marriage or moving with a new partner was over. You may have adopted a “been there, done that” attitude, or you’ve had rough experiences living with a partner in the past. But here you are: in love again and ready to settle down. As the number one dating app for mature singles, we know that many of our members and former members are in your shoes. This article will provide you with some guidance about moving in or getting married after 60. Congratulations on finding love, and read on to learn how to transition into this next phase of your romantic life and how to navigate marriage versus living together after 60. 

Navigating Marriage After 60: Tying the Knot with Wisdom

If you’re over 60, chances are good that you have plenty of experience to draw on. However, you may also have misread situations in the past and want to be sure that you do it right this time. Here are some tips from other mature couples who have made serious commitments. 

Make Sure You’re Not Rushing It

Just because you feel great about where your relationship is at doesn’t mean that your partner is ready. This is one of those situations where discretion is the better part of valor. If you think your partner is not quite as ready as you are, propose the subject as a hypothetical. For instance, “I could see us moving in or even getting married someday. How do you feel about that?” You may be pleasantly surprised by the response. If not, you leave your partner with a viable out if needed. 

Make Certain You’re Ready

Falling in love often causes us to focus solely on romantic considerations. That’s part of the wonderful adrenaline rush of new love. However, that doesn’t mean that you’re ready to live with someone just yet. If you’re unsure your house is in order (figuratively or literally), don’t allow yourself to be pushed. 

Marriage vs. Cohabitation

This can be tricky for members of our generation. As a rule, we highly value the tradition of marriage, but strictly speaking, it’s not a requirement for cohabitation. For some couples, cohabitation is a pre-step toward marriage, for others, the decisions are unrelated. Talk to your partner about it and decide which you prefer as a couple. 

Determine the Location

Are you moving in with your partner or inviting them to move in with you? Or are you going to combine incomes and wealth to buy a larger “dream home”? 

Compromises 

Once you decide on the location, you need to determine what compromises you’re willing to make. For instance, consider a situation where a couple moves into a two-room condo. Will the extra room be a home office, a guest room, a hobby room, or something else? 

This might seem like a minor tiff, but what if one of you needs the space to host your visiting children and the other requires a work-from-home office for their business? We’ll provide some tips for resolving practical challenges in the next section.

Creating a Shared Home: Practical Considerations for Seniors

Compromise is the key to any successful relationship. It definitely is when you’re married or living together. Again, the following information comes from people in their 60s or older who have decided to tie the knot or move in together. If we missed anything, let us know. 

Financial Concerns 

Before making a big move, you should be aware of one another’s financial situation. That means you need to know about the other person’s assets, debts, income, and expenses. They should also know about yours. If you’re getting married, the state may require your assets and debts to be comingled. If this is a major consideration, you should get a prenuptial agreement. 

Children

Are there any minor or adult children living in the home? Is there a plan for their moving out? Some people in their 60s have children with special needs who have to live in the house. This can be an enormous responsibility. 

Additionally, it’s important to discuss how your children should treat your significant other. If your children are grown, they may not feel comfortable treating your significant other as a parental figure.

Either way, it’s important to discuss potential life-altering changes with children and partners prior to making any decisions.

Pets

Pets are a dealbreaker for some couples. Someone either doesn’t like animals or is allergic to their fur, and the other can’t live without their furbaby. You may be able to find a workable compromise, but you need to discuss it — particularly if you’re expecting the other person to give up their dog or cat. Take this factor lightly at your own risk.

Décor

You’ll be spending a lot of time in your home, so it’s important that you have a say in the décor. Make sure you recognize that this also applies to your partner. Even if they’re the ones moving into your space, they’re going to want to bring some of their things with them. Have a plan to share the space in a way that you both can live with. 

Without the willingness to compromise, every decision can be a major point of contention. If you don’t think you can give a little to get a little, maybe you should reconsider making the move for now. 

Emotional Wellness: Nurturing Relationships in Later Years

If you’re nervous about getting married or moving in together, it’s natural. It’s a huge decision. You might love having your own space and are worried about how this move will affect you and your partner. Keeping yourself emotionally healthy is going to be a significant part of making your move work. Here are some ideas you can put into practice to help with your emotional and spiritual wellness. 

Define Your Space and Time 

Cohabitation does not mean you need to be joined at the hip. Talk to your partner about having your own space, time, and activities. For example, if you like to spend the morning at yoga practice or taking a walk, you can reserve that for yourself. It’s also helpful to have different areas for the home you can retreat to if you’re feeling edgy or apprehensive about something. Allow your partner their space as well, and try to respect their boundaries. 

Have a Hobby

If you’re over 60 and don’t have a hobby, it’s time to start. You don’t have to be great at it; just find something you enjoy doing. 

Travel 

If you have the time and resources, it’s good to get away together every now and then. Even if you’re no longer working, there’s something different about being away than staying in your home town. 

Finding the right mix is important. Some individuals enjoy being away from home, while others tend to be homebodies. Striking that balance is important.

Spa Treatments

Enjoy a day at the spa either as a couple or by yourself. You’ll come home feeling refreshed and energized, like a new person. 

Meditation

The point of meditation is to clear your mind and alleviate stress. If you’ve never tried it before, start meditating in small increments — even a minute or so. It can be a relationship saver. 

Family Dynamics: Impact on Relationships After 60

Many seniors have children, grandchildren, siblings, and even parents. If you’re moving in together, it’s essential that you make your partner’s family welcome. Conversely, you’re going to want to know that your family is welcome in your home. 

It’s a good idea to talk about how you both will interact with your families. After all, you are essentially joining one another’s families. Here are some points of discussion:

Where people are usually willing to make numerous compromises to maintain harmony, family is not usually an area they will. In other words, choose your battles. Everyone handles family dynamics differently. Having a discussion about children, pets, and other personal matters is important prior to considering marriage after 60. 

SilverSingles for Single Seniors

If you’re single and you stumbled upon this article by accident, we have good news for you. SilverSingles stands out among dating apps for over 50s. Our easy signup and interface — as well as millions of members — have made SilverSingles the number-one dating app for seniors. We offer a free Basic plan so you can familiarize yourself with the app, and upgrading to Premium is easy. Sign up today. You have nothing to lose, and if you play your cards right, you could be moving in or tying the knot with your match someday!