Tips for Maintaining a Long-Distance Relationship

Who says that perfect love can’t also be a little inconvenient? Sometimes, your ideal partner is not just right around the corner. If you’ve met someone special who lives more than a few hours away, it may be leading to a long-distance relationship or an “LDR.”

As a global dating site with a footprint in multiple countries, many SilverSingles members find themselves attracted to prospects in other cities, states, provinces, and countries. LDRs are challenging, and not everyone is equipped to handle them, but if you do decide to try a long-distance romance, this guide will help you navigate some of the pitfalls.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Long-Distance Relationships

While many people only see the drawbacks of long-distance relationships, there are some benefits. If you’re a person who likes their space, a long-distance relationship may allow you to avoid feeling crowded while not having to hold your romantic partner at arm’s length.

In addition, long-distance dating intensifies the experience. During visits, it can have the feeling of being on vacation (for at least one of you). There’s also something very romantic about love, overcoming the obstacles of time and distance.

The major drawbacks are what you’d expect. There will be periods of loneliness and anxiousness. You or your partner may experience busy times where the contact is at a minimum. That’s why it’s so important to commit time and energy to this part of your life.

Scheduling Regular Visits

FaceTime, Zoom, etc. are great ways to feel closer to someone you can’t physically be with. However, they have no comparison to face-to-face interaction. If you’re going to try an LDR, you need to commit to traveling to see each other. You have to work out what’s tolerable for both of you. If you only live a few hours away, you may commit to visiting each other on alternating weekends. That way, you share the burden of driving. If you live a little further and have the resources, you may consider finding a halfway point and meeting there for overnight vacations. You can plan dinner at a different restaurant each time and find a little breakfast spot for the morning after.

If the reason that you’re seeking a long-distance relationship is that you travel to your partner’s town on business, the problem of travel may take care of itself. However, you may consider inviting your partner to visit you one day.

Keeping Communication Strong

Communication is the lifeblood of every relationship. We’re sure you’ve heard this before. Nowhere is communication more important, however, than in a long-distance relationship. There are many ways to communicate in the modern world: phone calls, video calls, text messaging, email, social media, and more. If you just met someone you’re interested in, SilverSingle Premium members even have access to our state-of-the-art encrypted messaging system. There’s really no excuse for not keeping in touch. Don’t leave communications up in the air. Schedule regular daily or weekly calls. Respond to text messages when you receive them, and also just randomly text throughout the day. Pro Tip: send a card or letter through the mail.

Creative Ways to Stay Connected

So, you’ve scheduled regular visits with your significant other, and you’re talking and texting on the phone like a teenager in high school. How do you make all of this contact count? Or, more importantly, how do you make the glue that keeps relationships alive? Here are some LDR date ideas and activities that you can do to keep your connection alive:

• Watch a movie together – You can find the same movie on a streaming service, start them at the same time, and talk over the slow parts. It may take a few pauses before you get them synced properly, but if you keep the volume low, you can avoid an echo.
• Play Games Together – There are many ways you can play games together. You can load a gaming app on your phone, you can play a video game on a gaming console, or you can even set up board games on each end of a video call. Pour a drink, have a snack, and make it a fun game night.
• Get Out on the Town – You see people having business meetings in cafes and restaurants all of the time. Get a set of noise-canceling earbuds or headphones and find a quiet table at the local coffee shop.
• Go Site Seeing – If the weather is nice, do a video call and take your date on a hike. Show them places around the town. When they come for a visit, take them there in person.
• Make a Fun Competition – For example, if you both want to get into better shape, set a mutual goal, like walking 5,000 steps per day. With something like that, you could talk on the phone and kill two birds with one stone.

Setting LDR Relationship Goals

No matter how well things are going at the moment, there will come a time when you’ll want to be together full-time. If you have minor children, this may not occur for a few years, but you should establish intermediate and long-term plans. You may consider taking mutual vacations, spending summers together, or even one or both of you moving. Here are some relationship milestones for people in long-distance relationships:

• Making Space – When you visit each other regularly, you may not want to pack and unpack bags. An intermediate relationship goal could be to clear some space on the bathroom shelf, designate a dresser drawer as theirs, or clear part of the closet for their clothes. Trust us, if you both do this, it will make traveling so much easier.
• Job Changes – Many companies allow employees to work from home. You may be able to convince your employer to allow you to work from home or look for a job that will. This will give you greater freedom to travel or even move to your partner’s location.
• Meeting Family – LDRs can make family meetings even more awkward, but if you’re going to get serious, they’ll eventually have to happen. Make a plan with your partner as to how this should go and when it should happen.

If you don’t have a future plan to move to the same place, you need to discuss this with your partner to make sure they’re on the same page. It may work out for you, but it’s not fair to string someone along if you don’t have any intention of moving.

Managing Time Zones

SilverSingles is an international dating site and app, and it’s not unusual for couples to be several time zones away. If you are a time zone or two away, it may not be such a big deal. However, if you have a time difference of four hours or more, it can cause quite a rift. Here are a few suggestions for dealing with time zone differences:

• Make days off count. If you both have Saturday off, for instance, make sure you allocate some time for video calls and activities.
• Get up early or stay up late. This is not always an optimal solution — particularly if you both work — so you may want to limit this solution to a few days of the week.
• Record video messages and email them. When your partner wakes up, they can respond with a video.
• Use text messaging to send quick messages during working hours.

Be respectful of your partner’s life and sleep schedule. If they offer to stay up late to have a call, make sure you are gracious when they get off the phone.

Trust and Transparency

Many long-distance couples make the decision to keep their relationship open. They’re confident that their emotional bond can stand the test of having their partner date others. If you feel like this is a viable option, make sure that you respect the agreement. Be transparent about your interactions and behavior. And if this doesn’t work for you, be faithful or suggest friendship until a time when you’re living in the same area.

Handling Remote Conflicts

Eventually, you may end up having an argument or dispute with your long-distance partner. While your first impulse may be to jump on a plane and fly out to them, that’s not really practical. You can deal with remote conflicts the same way that you handle your more pleasant interactions: calling, texting, email, video conference, etc.

LDR arguments can be challenging, but if you’re respectful, listen, and work toward de-escalation, it can help re-establish the bond that you have with your partner. If you’ve made up after a “big fight,” scheduling a trip to see them can be the ideal romantic gesture.

SilverSingles has members all over the world. While long-distance relationships can be challenging, the rewards can also be immense. If you are a mature single who is looking for love, try SilverSingles today!